谁能给我的雅思小作文评一下分阿..急.
来自剑桥雅思5Task1的小作文..无法附图..见谅...
Thegraphindicatesandpredictsthechangeintheproportionofolderpeopleinthethreecountries(Japan,Sweden,andU.S.A)through1940to2040.
Originally,USAhadthelargestproportionofpeoplewhoaged65andover,whichstoodat9%,overweighSwedenof7%andJapanof5%.Inthefollowing40years,westerncountriesnearlygotasimilartrendofincrease,whichdramaticallyfrom10%to15%,and7%to14%respectively.However,Japanexperiencesastabledeclineto3%formuchofthetime,beforerisingto5%againatthepresenttime.
Althoughsomefluctuationoccurredintheexpectedpercentage,therewillagenerallevel-upinthethreecountriesinthenexttwodecades,butadramaticrisewillbringJapantonearly27%whereoutnumbertheothertwocountries(USAof23%,Swedenof25%).(142words)
可以简单的评一下语法,最好能给一个建议的分数,好让偶可以树立一个标尺,天天进步.....