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谁能给我的雅思小作文评一下分阿..急.来自剑桥雅思5Task1的小作文..无法附图..见谅...Thegraphindicatesandpredictsthechangeintheproportionofolderpeopleinthethreecountries(Japan,Sweden,andU.S.A)through1
更新时间: 2025-08-27 20:17:48
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问题描述:

谁能给我的雅思小作文评一下分阿..急.

来自剑桥雅思5Task1的小作文..无法附图..见谅...

Thegraphindicatesandpredictsthechangeintheproportionofolderpeopleinthethreecountries(Japan,Sweden,andU.S.A)through1940to2040.

Originally,USAhadthelargestproportionofpeoplewhoaged65andover,whichstoodat9%,overweighSwedenof7%andJapanof5%.Inthefollowing40years,westerncountriesnearlygotasimilartrendofincrease,whichdramaticallyfrom10%to15%,and7%to14%respectively.However,Japanexperiencesastabledeclineto3%formuchofthetime,beforerisingto5%againatthepresenttime.

Althoughsomefluctuationoccurredintheexpectedpercentage,therewillagenerallevel-upinthethreecountriesinthenexttwodecades,butadramaticrisewillbringJapantonearly27%whereoutnumbertheothertwocountries(USAof23%,Swedenof25%).(142words)

可以简单的评一下语法,最好能给一个建议的分数,好让偶可以树立一个标尺,天天进步.....

田密回答:
  具体还行,但是让人看这还是像短文,哈哈,多写好词把..
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