本人10.23号考雅思,目标是6,希望各位高人批改一下我的大作文,最好能给以个具体分数.
这个是问题：Inmodernsociety,fashionhasbeenbecomingmorepopularinpeople’sdailylives.Whatarethecausesofthisphenomenon?Doyouthinkitisapositivedevelopmentornegativedevelopment?
正文：
Inthepresentage,withtherapiddevelopmentoffreetrademarketandmedia,fashionhasbeenplayedapivotalroleinpeople’slife.Theyfollowthefashiontrendeveryear,eveneverymonth.Aboutthisphenomenon,twomainargumentsoftenheard.Oneisthatisapositivedevelopment,whileanotherviewthatisanegativedevelopment.Personally,Iaminfavorofthelater.
Therearereasonsforsomepeopletobelievethatisanegativedevelopment.Inthefirstplace,manyyoungstudentsspendtoomuchmoneywhichfromtheirparentsonrunningafterthelatestfashionclothes,phones,computersandsoon.Specifically,thispromotesthecomparepsychologyinpeers,whichhasthebadimpactontheirstudyworkandtherelationshipbetweenotherstudents.Moreimportantly,followthefashiontrendtoomuchwillmakeusignoreourlocaltraditionallifestyle,clothesandcultural.Allthisareessentialtoourowncountry’sdevelopment.
Ontheotherhand,itisworthpointingouttherearealsoargumentssupportingtheopinionthatfashionpopularisapositivedevelopment.Itistruethatfashionmakeourdailylifemorecolorfulandbringaboutnewthingswhichweneverknow.Oursocietywouldbecomedelightandopening.However,fashionisnotthemainfactorstodevelopoursociety,notonlywastepeople’sworkorstudytime,butalsowastepeopleandgovernment’smoney.Weneedtofindourownstyleandpaths
Basedonalltheargumentsofferedabove,Iadmitthatfashionhasapositiveinfluenceonourlife.Evenso,Istillbelieveweshouldsticktoourownfeelingsandlivingcomfortableandhealtharethemostsignificantthingsinourwholelifetime.
