Manyparentshavelearnedthehardwaythatwhatsoundslikeopencommunicationisotfentheverythingthatclosesayoungster’searsandmouth,OnecommonmistakeistheLecture,thelongmonologuethatoftenstartswith“WhenIwasyourage……”Eighteen–year–oldKellycallslectures“Long,one-sidediscussionsinwhichIdon’tsaymuch.”

Kidsreflexively（条件反射地）shoutdowninthefaceofalecture,Theireyesglazeover（呆滞）,andtheydon’tregisteranyincominginformation,Listento13-year–oldSarahdescribeherleastfavoritetimeswithhermomanddad,“First,theyscream,Thencomesthe“We’resodisappointed’speech,Thenthe‘Ineverdidthattomyparents’lecturebegins,Afterthat,eveniftheyrealizehowridiculoustheysound,theynevertakeitback’”.

Lineslike“Whenyouhavechildrenofyourown,you’llunderstand”havebeenseriouslysaidbyparentssincetimeimmemorial,Butmanyofourexpertparents,likeBobby,aregisterednurseandmotherofthree,feelthatbyfallingbackoncliches（陈词滥调）tojustifyouractions,weweakenourposition.

Sincekidsarecreaturesofhereandnow,thefar-offfuturehasnorelevancetothem,Therefore,goodcommunicatorslikeBobbysuggest,“Givespecificreasonsforyouractionsinpresentlanguage:‘I’mnotlettingyougotothepartybecauseIdon’tthinktherewillbeenoughadultsupervisions（监护）”。

Betty,wholivesinMissouri,usesandindirectapproach,“IfindthatwarningsareacceptedmorereadilyifIdiscussanewsarticleonasubjectIamconcernedabout,MyhusbandandItalkaboutitwhileourchildrenabsorbtheinformation,ThentheyneverthinkI’mpreaching（布道）”.

ThisreallyhelpedwhenBetty’skidsbegandriving,Insteadofconstantlyrepeating“Don’tdrink;don’tspeed”,Shewouldtalkaboutarticlesinthepaperandexpresssympathyforthevictimsofacarcrash,Bettymadenospecialefforttodrawherkidsintotheconversation,Shedependedonateenager’sstrongdesiretoputinhisopinions—especiallyifhethinksheisn’tbeingaskedforthem.

小题1:Thepurposeofthepassageisto